While not being the most “conventionally” religious person, I believe that somehow I am here and I am one of the best people suited to fight the Vigilante Network that exists in Sonoma County, California and the rest of the country. Wow! What a thing to say, right? Well, God has thrown all these trials at me and each one of them has taught me things and given me strength. S/he knows who I am. You have heard: “Judge not, that ye be not judged”. Oh, that doesn’t mean that God wants society to just step back and let people who commit horrible crimes walk around and destroy more lives. But, vigilantism that is meant to push any sane person towards insanity and any person good OR evil to commit suicide is wrong. That’s kind of like stoning. Yep, it is. A whole group throws stones. You know this. You know it is illegal. What other reason would there be for many of you to hop away like rabbits (though a certain amount lately has people smirking thinking that I will be overwhelmed by the thought of all the “tapes” I have to listen to.Wrong! I will never get through all of them. But, enough.
Ah, you fools. The person that I am is right here. You don’t know me. I was born observant. I am also very patient. I’ve been told more than once that I have the patience of Job. I am also naturally mindful. My next post was going to be about all the beautiful things I have seen since this latest barrage of vigilante harassment and stalking began. In 1997 and 2013, I was a nervous wreck – to say the least. But, even when I am a “nervous wreck” in a regular very mild manic state (1997) or a fake manic state (2013, brought on by you idiots) – even then, I remember…………..oh boy do I remember.
I have fought cancer, Reynold’s Metal and Whirlpool, a developer who wanted to build monster homes ( Did I make an enemy there? Great homes. I was sorry to hear they when down in the “depression”). I went through primary and secondary infertility – three pregnancies and had two beautiful children (4 month miscarriage). I’ve jumped through every single hoop the CCTC threw at me, moved dozens of times for my ex’s job and to get back west. I am a strong woman. You don’t lose yourself when you “get” bipolar disorder. You are always there somewhere and I’ve been blessed. Mine is treatable and responds to meds. It’s also relatively mild and I want to keep it that way. You see, I read the $80.00 Bible on bipolar when I was first diagnosed. Treat it or risk the kindling effect – having it get worse. However, sometimes as one ages, it can get better. Crap shoot. AND I had survived my illness made more challenging in 1997 due to the anger over THIS and 2013 because of being pushed into a depression after a “fake” bout of mania. I didn’t realize that until recently. Oh yeah. I’m up late, but took a three hour nap today. Wow, God does work in mysterious ways. I can nap. Never have been good at napping.
I have never willingly or knowingly hurt anyone. If I did, even if I was depressed or manic I would remember that. You “lump” one group into a category idiots. I throw in knowingly or willingly only because of that one night last summer. The drug from South or Central America? Silly me. All it would take if for a kid to make a false statement, for my recorded voice to be splice together or??????? That’s why we have the legal system we do.
There is one other thing you don’t know. I hate the old sitcoms where there is a big misunderstanding because one group or party doesn’t talk to the other. Those used to make my stomach churn. Talk to each other for goodness sake. Another thing. I recently realized that the toy I picked up from the floor of Alpha Beta in Fullerton – when I was five was probably a babies toy that was dropped. Ah relief. I am serious. Not that it bothered me that much, but it sure did burn a hole in my pocket walking the mile back home with my dad.
This is becoming too long. I’ll continue in another post. I’m 62, have been to hell and back, but my kids are grown. I’m fine and I will calmly and logically point all the fingers that I have to. Ready?